You are not a problem to be solve…

…I heard myself say to a prospective client just over a week ago. “You are NOT a problem to be solved”. 

There’s a kind of comfort in thinking you are a problem to be solved. That you can’t achieve what you want to achieve until you have first fixed all the reasons/problems that you believe are holding your back. That you have to stop or get rid of the patterns, habits, beliefs that – in your mind – shape you and how you respond to the world around you.

In many of my coaching conversations recently, I’ve come to see that the way forward lies, not in adding more tools, techniques or solutions to overcome or shift what you consider to be those habits, patterns or beliefs that are holding you back. Rather it is to simply let go of those same habits, patterns or beliefs. To know that even if they are real (which, when you shift your perspective, they are not) they don’t have to be a problem that you hang on to and use as an excuse, to justify or defend your lack of progress.

Self-help books and courses are part of the problem if you enter into them looking for help. You’re seeing yourself as a problem to be fixed and looking outside yourself for someone else’s magic answer .

The problem with “limiting beliefs” is that you believe you have them and that you buy into the story that beliefs are limiting.

If you see yourself as a problem to be solved, then that’s what you will become. That perspective will trap you and hold you victim. It will hold you back.

If you see yourself as a creator, however, then you’ll come to see that what you call problems, unhelpful habits, patterns or stories are just that because you label them so. As a creator, in every moment, you can see these problems, habits, patterns or stories for what they are – essentially something your own mind makes up to keep you small or safe.

As a creator you are free of those problems, habits, patterns or stories and can let them float around without being trapped by them. You create newer, more helpful versions of them in how you approach and respond to every moment. You build beliefs that serve you and what you seek to achieve.

You are NOT a problem to be solved. My client ‘got it’ when I said it and even in our conversation came to hear how attached to here ‘problems’ she was allowing herself to be.

You are a CREATOR in every moment of your life and you can choose to live free of everything and anything that you – and only you – are allowing to hold you back.

What will you let go of as you enter 2017 and how will you free yourself up to dream big, live fully and lead boldly as the CREATOR you truly are?

May the coming year be one of full-bodied CREATION for you in all you seek to do, be, experience, give, receive and fulfill in your life.

 

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Aileen Gibb
My work has taken me around the globe and to conversations with people from many different nationalities, cultures and organisations. Wherever I've gone, the power of real conversation, founded on intentional listening and enlightened questioning, has been welcomed. It’s a core piece of our humanity to create the space for conversations that matter and to build connection and meaning with members of our family, our business and our communities.